Distractions Needed

It has been a month since I ran my half-marathon.  It has been a solid month since I felt like I was really making progress with my training for Victoria.  A lot and a little has happened.  I missed some long runs and bike rides but they were replaced with shorter runs and fun rides with a new training buddy (Thanks Jessica!).  

My last month consisted of:

• One bike rescue by my husband- it just wasn't my day and after 25 miles I was done.  Plus my rear brake was rubbing so I was going incredibly slow which is deflating to say the least.
• One bike rescue by my great friend Barb - Jessica and I ended up much further south on a horribly wet and rainy day and after 25 miles we called in the rescue ride.
  
• I went in for a bike fit so I could switch to some new pedals and gorgeous new shoes, but during that process part of my bike broke causing me great stress.  I had a long ride planned and thought for sure I was out of luck. 
• Thankfully the bike shop had the part I needed and I was able to finish my bike fit the next day and have been riding happily all week.  

Through all of this I have been able to log:

• 4.83 miles of swimming
• 127.87 miles biking
• 15.42 miles of running
• 5 hours of spin class

This isn't enough for me to be highly confident in my performance on June 12th and frankly it's about half of what I should have done.  I know logically I can do this and make all the cut off times.  But every day closer to race day I am finding myself increasingly distracted and anxious.  This is unusual for me so I think I finally picked something that is truly a challenge for me.  When the bib numbers were made available it really hit home that this is going to happen.  

Completing this race is important- my husband and kids gave up a lot of time with me so I could prepare.  I don't want to let them down; I want their sacrifice and support to be worth while.  I am psyching myself out and I need to stop. I am normally very calm going into a race, almost aloof.  But right now I am strung so high I swear one pluck and this string is going to snap.  Some may say this is part of taper but I don't know.  It is uncomfortable to say the least.  

Today I will hit the pool and later this week do some light running and riding as I taper to nothing in the few days prior to the race.  Lots of deep breathing and mental focus are needed so I'll try to look for some pleasant distractions - like organizing some of my gear.  Who knew shoe racks were so perfectly built for holding all my necessities?!?